Do I make my own decisions, or do I let others make my decisions for me? How will I spend my Sunday afternoon? What do I charge for the work I do? Do I have for myself, my family, friends – the things I care about?

Given that I am a chronic people pleaser, it’s no surprise that most of my decisions are a result of me catering to the needs and wants of others before my own. Whilst the subconscious desire may be to please, the truth is, that the amount of energy and time I have for ‘people pleasing activity’ is limited, and sadly those who get the most of my time and energy are usually the greedy and undeserving. Meanwhile, those who deserve the most from me are too often neglected – and this applies most of all, to myself.

After being ‘dragged’ for far too long, it’s time to start making conscious choices. At this point – exhausted and depleted from my failure to do so thus far – my life depends on it.

The simplest approach seems to be assessing whether a given decision is likely to move me further towards, or away from, where I want to be. The challenge here, is that I’m not clear on where it is that I do want to be – and presumably, that is why I am so easily led – because I have no clear destination that I’m targeting.

So that’s what I need to start doing, defining where I want to end up – that’s not to say I actually have to end up there, but it just gives me a clear target to aim for, so that I can only choose to do the things that lead me in a direction I actually want to go in. And I don’t mean this in a soft, flowery, self-help sort of way – I mean it in a completely pragmatic and straightforward sense. It’s just a list. What are the things you want?